the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
