why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
