The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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