my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
