Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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