im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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