I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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