I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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