I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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