I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
