didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
