I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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