She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize