Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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