I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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