Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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