clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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