look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
