Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
