dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
