People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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