your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize