i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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