EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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