I love black thongs
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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