I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
