I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
