Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
