you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
did you just send me my own nude
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
