you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
