He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
