Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
