she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
