I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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