I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize