i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
