I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
