You're so nebulous sometimes
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
