Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
