Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
