It's like a parade of train wrecks.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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