just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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