pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
