You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This is the high leading the old right now
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
