I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
