did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
