I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
