hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
