Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
