I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
