recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
