This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
be right there i have to get my cape
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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