Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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