party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just invented taco cereal.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
