At least make sure they are 18
Why
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize