I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
