We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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