I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
