Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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