How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
