the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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