Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
