The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
