when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
