he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
