Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize